Reproductive Choice

“Reproductive Choice” includes much more in its definition aside from just contraception and abortion. The misconception in America is that everyone has reproductive choice. They think, all they have to do is get birth control or get free condoms from the health clinic. The broader definition includes the issue of poverty and education on reproduction. Feminists need to let the world know that several women do not even know how to prevent pregnancy. Several women do not have the money to buy birth control every month. Abortion is not free and not cheap and neither is fetal health care. I think an effective way of reaching out to society is short, informative commercials. They could produce a brief commercial about statistics of child bearing and poverty. I think people would be shocked to hear those statistics. Reproductive choice extends beyond methods of birth control. Not everyone has access to health clinics, health care, or methods of birth control. Reproductive choice and rights change with race, class, etc… The common knowledge of birth control and reproductive rights are generally directed toward middle-class white women. The social/political impacts of this may be consequential. While some might argue that population control needs to be maintained, some may have their eyes opened to these women who are unable to have a chosen and reliable birth. Margaret Sanger started this movement. We should follow suit.

Poverty Simulation - What was going on in the Mother's heads?

As one of the mothers role-playing in the poverty simulation, the stress was very high even though I knew it wasn’t a real situation for me. Stress plays a difficult role in the lives of low-income women (especially single mothers like the one I was playing). It was eye-opening to recognize how little $200 a week actually is in comparison to all of the bills that needed to be paid. Like in real life, kids get sick, refrigerators break, and day-care is ridiculously expensive. I had to put all of my energy and money into things that were just barely making our lives livable. I have certainly lived paycheck to paycheck here at JMU but I can’t imagine what it would be like to try to do that with two children (which is where most of the mother’s income went). I think low-income women perceive themselves in a way that they’re just barely making it in life. It’s very discouraging and it makes you feel like you can’t do anything right. When you’re just making ends meet, I can imagine low-income mother’s feel like terrible mothers when they can’t give their children everything they need, let alone what they want. I can imagine that low-income mothers are completely lacking in confidence and hope when they can’t even spend time with their children because they have to work just to pay some of the bills. It was pretty scary to be put in that role because while you’re only role-playing, it’s difficult to know that so many women are in that actual position in life.

Western Feminists

Western feminists love Oprah! Why? Because Oprah takes all the money she makes from bringing women to tears every week and builds schools and implements methods of birth control and contributes food to people in need in Third World countries. Western feminists want to play the heroic Americans, rushing in from a plane and bringing women’s rights with them. The controversy with Western feminism is that these women have the Western blinders over their eyes. Because we are Americans and we are the super-power of the world, our way of living must be right. When Western feminists go over and tell women living in an entirely different culture that being hit by their husband is wrong and they shouldn’t stand for it, this causes a problem. Third World countries will never fully change or accept Western ideas when these ideas are being shoved down their throats. As a feminist, I would certainly expect to do have some general idea of what is acceptable in the culture, who we can talk to about making changes, and leaving the decision to the leaders. For example, we shouldn’t be running around communities telling women to take birth control, we should go to the leaders of the community and explain why birth control has worked for us and see what they think. Western feminism is also controversial because some view it as hypocritical. We worry about poverty stricken women without the ability to take care of their children in a Third World country, yet we ignore these same problems taking place in the U.S.

Third Wave Feminism

I think the characteristics of Third Wave Feminism are very malleable and convenient. When it comes to third wave feminism, I feel almost as though I can make my own definition of feminism. Some feel that high heels and short skirts are a part of third wave feminism. Some feel that picking their own cause and sticking to it is a version of Third Wave Feminism. All of these women are right. I definitely feel that I am a Third Wave Feminist. Our beautiful great-great-grandmothers set the stage for feminism. They believed in women’s rights. While they have given us the right to vote, the right to birth control, and the right to stay single if we please, there are still women’s issues they would undoubtedly pushes the limits to. The “glass ceiling” for example is still prevalent in this day in age. Women are still fighting for the right to be considered equal to men, not just a pretty face in the workforce. I certainly consider myself a Third Wave Feminist because it gives me the freedom to fight for the issues most dear to my heart. There are still horrible shows on television such as “Rock of Love” and “Tough Love” which portray women in this “slutty” point of view. Women are still a material object in this world no matter how many rights we have achieved. Women feel the power to feel sexy but still strong and independent. We are not an object. We can be just as raunchy and carefree as men yet the world does not see it this way. I believe women should feel comfortable reporting sexual harassment in the workplace. I think women should have paid leave and benefits while on maternal leave (however long that may take). I care mainly about the workplace and what benefits mothers and women should have in accordance with their workplace. Because I have chosen this stance, I am a Third Wave Feminist, choosing my own cause and fighting for my own beliefs.

Who has Influenced my Perceptions of Romance and Relationships

Unfortunately, I grew up with parents who were not very affectionate toward each other growing up. For this reason (sadly), the media (movies, TV) have influenced my perceptions of romance and relationships. I learned very quickly with my first boyfriend that this is not the way things truly are. Men and women have very different perceptions of romance and relationships from my experience. I expected commitment, sweetness, understanding and romance in my relationships. A majority of the young men I dated growing up had a different idea. They expected a lot of physicality, freedom from commitment, and little emotional input when it came to romance. I think men grow up seeing the sweet things they can do for women from the media. When a boyfriend of mine would bring me a rose, or buy me a necklace or tell me I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, it was usually a method of making up after a fight or trying to get some more of the physical aspect of the relationship out of me. I would also realize how cliché these romantic gestures were. I would think “haven’t I seen this in a Nicholas Sparks movie?” My perceptions of romance and relationships have changed solely on experience. I was shaped by the media, but experience made my expectations different from those early expectations. I think some people are influenced by their parents on how a relationship would be, but I think one would only take that perception as true if it were a seemingly happy marriage.

The Lesbian Continuum

Rich’s idea of the lesbian continuum was odd to me. First of all, I didn’t quite understand why it was called the lesbian continuum when some areas of the spectrum had nothing to do with homosexuality. I would rather call it the “female intimacy continuum.” It certainly did display two very opposite ways women express intimacy. I think homophobia discourages women from displaying intimacy because they are too afraid of crossing that line between the kind of intimacy between relatives and sexual intimacy with another woman. It’s very easy to hug or kiss your mother but hugging and kissing another woman may appear too sexually intimate to other women. The same goes for men and is certainly more discouraging. When most men hug, they clasp hands and wrap one arm around the back so there is a barrier between their bodies (their clasped hands). They’re afraid of getting too close out of fear that it wouldn’t look like “normal intimacy.” At the same time, some women embrace this kind of intimacy without fear that they will be misjudged. Some women even use sexual intimacy with another woman to make themselves more heterosexually attractive to men (ie: men love to see women kissing other women as long as they’re heterosexual). I think the lesbian continuum can vary based on different cultures and traditions. For example, if you go to Italy, men will kiss each other on the cheek as a greeting and no one sees it as crossing the boundary of male intimacy. I think America’s obsession and fear of homophobia discourages us all from gaining the kind of intimacy we need from the other sex, even when it’s not sexual in nature.

How have womens' body representations changed in my lifetime

I would say I started recognizing women’s representation of beauty when I was in elementary school. This was around the late nineties. In the late nineties, women wore “mom jeans”…a lot. The interesting thing about “mom jeans” was that they showed off your butt and your hips. If you had a big butt and small hips, mom jeans worked. As time progressed, jeans started to go from high and tight to low and loose. If you had a big butt and wore low rise jeans, you were probably in danger of getting caught showing your butt-crack or thong in public. If your hips were too wide, you’d get the love handles hanging out all over the place. Another thing I noticed growing up is that it suddenly became cool to have small boobs instead of large ones. I developed very early and had D cups by age fifteen. All my girlfriends could wear these tiny tank tops and T-shirts without bras. I, on the other hand, could not. I think the small boobs went along with the emaciated look that came with the nineties. By the time I was in high school, the girls were still the same size they were in middle school. They had worked their bodies down until they fit in a jean size 0. While I didn’t benefit from the small boob fad, several girls who had been told growing up that they needed to have big boobs felt empowered to now flaunt the fact that they had flatter chests. When the athletic look came around in my late high school years, the girls who had boyish figures were considered the prettiest. Instead of being made fun of for not having developed as well, they took pride in the fact that they took care of their bodies.